I wish you were here, mom
Celebrating life and mourning loss
Early this year, I received the worst news of my life. My mom had died in a car accident not far from her home. I was shocked, devastated, and deeply sad. She was 65 years old and just beginning a new phase of life, retirement. She unquestionably left her mark on this world through her selflessness, care, and love. My mother was an advocate for patients when she was a nurse. She was an angel for family and friends who needed support during battles with cancer, recovery from tragic accidents, or the loss of a loved one.
Fourteen weeks later, my wife and I learned we were expecting a child. There was so much joy and happiness accompanying this news. The thought of being a father brought new meaning to my existence and I couldn’t wait to see my wife become a mom.
Soon after, the reality that my mom wouldn’t be with me to walk this journey into fatherhood hit me hard. She wanted so much to be a grandmother. She had so much love to give. It’s such a tragedy that my daughter won’t get to know her grandmother in the physical world.
In the weeks and months since, I have found comfort in the feeling that my mom lives on in me. She raised a son who will embody her principles, share her love, and spread her good spirit. I wasn’t sure exactly how I would do this, but I began to believe that it was both my responsibility and my honor to do so.
Thankfully, my mom was looking out for me and left behind a treasure to be found. In her purse, she kept a long wallet. Inside that wallet, amongst the health insurance identification and credit cards, was a laminated note; more specifically, it was a handwritten list. Simply seeing her unique penmanship was comforting. The list had ten words/phrases:
Trust
Stay Connected
Like many times in my life, she outlined everything for me. I want to memorialize her life and disseminate her ideas far and wide. In the coming weeks, I will be writing about these ten values/ideals individually and sharing stories of my mom and her pursuit of a meaningful life. I hope that the stories connect with readers and that they might be a source of inspiration, joy, and motivation.
So long for now.
-Felix