Part 2: Can ChatGPT make me a better dad?
In part 1 of the series, “Can ChatGPT make me a better dad?” I described how the AI interface helped generate potential names for our baby. Following that, I decided to get right to the point, and ask it the most challenging question, “how can you help me be a better dad?”
The results included a list of 10 key areas on which I should focus. They were quality time, listening and communication, emotional support, discipline and guidance, education and learning, lead by example, health and well-being, flexibility and patience, self-care, and finally seek resources and support. Following each key area were a couple of general ideas describing the impact on parenting.
At first glance, it would be hard to argue with the importance of many of these suggestions. However, the list on its own isn’t super useful as far as implementation in every day life and changing habits. So, I entered a follow up prompt to get a bit more specific. I asked ChatGPT to provide the three most impactful tactics that I can use to maximize the first area of focus it suggested, “quality time.”
The first tactic it suggested was…
So, this is a bit more useful than just “spend quality time.” Here’s how I think about it through the lens of my own childhood…
There were many times my mom and I would meet my dad for dinner at the local Red Lobster as he was just getting back into town after a few days on the road for work. It would go something like this…We settle in to a booth and order drinks. My mom asks my dad about his trip and I try to regale him with stories of how school went the last few days. By the time the warm, salty, cheddar bay biscuits arrived to the table, his Blackberry buzzes and from that point he is engaged with a steady stream of email, only half-listening to us at best. He would say something like, “even though work is done for the day here on the east coast, the guys in California still need me.” I believed him.
My mom and I would chat with each other as we ate our caeser salads and wait for moments when the Blackberry was momentarily rested on the table to continue catching up with my dad. The entrees would come, and halfway through, his phone would ring. My dad would pick it up answering loudly and step outside as my mom and I finished our meals. He would come back in and pay the bill before we would promptly head home.
As we walked out to the parking lot, I’d tell my mom that I was riding home with dad with hopes that we could jam out to some Matchbox Twenty with the windows down. Almost always the drive was interrupted with yet another call from a salesman or customer and the music would mute. It was always exciting when dad got home, but sometimes I wish the Blackberry would have been left in a hotel somewhere far far away.
The point of the story is that although we were objectively spending time together, the quality of that time was often lacking. The phone is a powerful tool with the capability to distract in an instant. There may be times in the future when I am with my daughter and thinking about a million other things, but I hope that I can redirect my focus to the present and give my attention to what’s important in her world at that moment.
Coming up in part 3 of this series, I will explore the idea of measuring parenting proficiency with ChatGPT. Let me know if you have used ChatGPT in parenting decisions and if it helped!
So long for now.
-Felix