Perinatal Counseling
I am talking today about a resource available to new parents called perinatal counseling. Perinatal means the time immediately before and after birth, and counseling is pretty self-explanatory. According to the website https://www.postpartum.net, some common mental health disorders new parents may encounter include anxiety, depression, and even OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). A Perinatal Mental Health Certification Program exists that professionals can complete in order to specialize in treatments for this population.
My wife and I were referred to a counselor in our area who specialized in perinatal mental health. She went to the first appointment alone and was given some book recommendations and other written resources to help prepare and plan for the baby. The counselor suggested that I join my wife for the next appointment to participate in the discussions and planning and to learn more about what to expect for myself (and perhaps more importantly to better understand what my wife will go through) in the last weeks of pregnancy and into the first weeks of baby’s life.
My experience may be different from yours, but here is what I found helpful…we first talked about what we anticipated for a “birth plan.” Specifically, the counselor facilitated a conversation where my wife and I discussed how we would get to the hospital, what we were bringing (was it already packed?), and who was going to meet us there (family, friends, etc.). The goal here was to make sure we each articulated our expectations, and that we were actually on the same page about what we wanted. If there were things we didn’t agree on, this was a good time to voice those concerns as opposed to during the stress of labor onset.
The next thing we were challenged to think about was how we wanted to handle help. For us, this is close family, but it could be friends, neighbors, etc. We needed to agree on what we wanted the first few days to look like from a caretaking perspective, and how we would incorporate relief help from our supporting network. Even more important than talking about it together, we needed to have conversations with loved ones about when they would be called in to help. This was something I’m grateful that we explored because it helped ensure everyone in our lives was on the same page with our expectations.
Another piece of advice I have tried to take to heart is to be patient with myself and to be patient with my wife. My wife will also be experiencing a huge change in hormones along with decreased sleep and inevitable exhaustion. It’s a good reminder that practicing tolerance will go a long way these next few weeks.
Lastly, and most seriously, the counselor talked about what postpartum depression looks like and how important it was to know the signs and when to seek help. If you want to learn more, there are many resources available online. If you or a loved one are in need of immediate support, please contact a qualified medical professional.
Overall, I found the experience to be very beneficial. Although I had thought about many of the scenarios before the session, it was really beneficial to voice my feelings to my wife and to hear her thoughts and concerns. We were able to continue conversations in the days afterward to really cement our plans and to feel even more prepared for the baby’s arrival.
So long for now!
-Felix
P.S. I have also included a few resources below for soon-to-be or new parents who want to learn more about where to find a counselor, as well as other programs and support groups available.